Learning Journal Entry #4: Finding the roots of my poker suffering
Learning Journal Entry #4: Finding the roots of my poker suffering
Thanks for coming
back and checking on the next edition of my poker journey from complete buffoon
to partial buffoon… I mean CRUSHER! So far, we went through me realizing I needed
to join a course because I had no idea what I was doing on my own as well as
some of my experiences after deciding to sign up for the Raise Your Edge cash
game course.
At this point in
my poker learning adventure, I had already signed up, watched videos, and taken
notes on them, and I had begun keeping a hand-drawn notebook of range charts
and learnings. That is where I get all
the images I start my blog posts with.
It is not always going to be pretty, but I will do my best to show you
the evolution of my thinking as I went along.
All that being
said, we are joining me at a time where I really thought I was figuring things
out. I was pretty sure I was going to be
a crusher of 6-max NLHE within a month of starting to learn strategy. Obviously, that could not be much more
delusional but that is what makes this blog entertaining… me looking like a
dummy and doing everything wrong! Well,
if that is what you came for, you are in the perfect place.
I was very proud
of my notebook and I didn’t even let the thought cross my mind that maybe I had
been able to draw the ranges faster than I could memorize them…
IMPOSSIBLE!! Of course, I was doing
exactly that. I was making 3-4 charts
per day and spending zero time studying them.
I don’t suggest this method to anyone.
If I were doing
this process all over I would try to learn one position per day, or even every
other day. I think the big breakthrough
that I have had since entering this in my learning journal has been using
notecards and notecard apps for memorization.
I also started learning the why behind the ranges and that has helped it
all make sense to me to the point that I don’t have to memorize. Instead, I can just do what makes sense and
that is a powerful change that requires much less brain power. That way I can save my brain power during
preflop and use it on the river to rationalize making the wrong decision.
This time around
I had sworn to myself to be brutally honest about the mistakes I was making and
I did so for the first time in the next few entries. I noticed when I reviewed a losing session
that I had been calling with a bunch of weak draws and bottom pair type hands
in hopes of catching something lucky and winning.
I noticed that I
started doing those bad plays after losing a large pot to someone who had done
the same thing to me. I think they
called a huge turn bet with only a gut shot against my set and hit it,
boo-freaking-hoo. Upon losing that pot I
decided the only way to find justice for what had been done to me was to lose a
bunch more pots by playing poorly… I
know, sick strat!
I wasn’t proud of
the fact I had made this series of poor decisions, but I was happy I was able
to honestly call myself out for my mistakes.
I knew that was the only path to improving, brutal honesty. While I was on the path of honest learning, I
decided I needed to get specific and the biggest issue I saw was that I had
learned to bet my gut shots in position, but somehow, I had mangled that good
advice and turned it into NEVER FOLD A GUTSHOT.
If you know anything about poker, I am sure you can imagine how quickly
that can be a costly mix up.
I read a lot of
philosophy and I have always liked the tradition of Buddhism. One thing that is credited to Siddhartha
Gautama is that every form of suffering has its roots, and we need to trace the
suffering to its roots in order to stop ourselves from creating that kind of
suffering in our lives in the future.
The roots of my poker suffering on this day was the idea that poker was
supposed to be fair.
The true root
lying under that was the feeling of victimization. This was not the first, or the last, time I
would have to pull this root in one form or another in my quest to better
myself. The thought that I am only
losing (or whatever bad thing is happening,) because the universe is being
unfair is actually a trick I play on myself to think I am superior. Its my ego telling me I deserve to win and
that I matter so much that the whole universe is willing to concentrate on me
and do unfair things to me. None of this
is true, of course.
Thank you for
reading and I hope you decide to subscribe and read all the past posts. The most popular ones have been the ones
about my DRUNKEN SHITSHOW of a poker history.
Check them out here if you want to see the rise and fall of a man without a bit of self-control.
Thanks for coming
back and checking on the next edition of my poker journey from complete buffoon
to partial buffoon… I mean CRUSHER! So far, we went through me realizing I needed
to join a course because I had no idea what I was doing on my own as well as
some of my experiences after deciding to sign up for the Raise Your Edge cash
game course.
At this point in
my poker learning adventure, I had already signed up, watched videos, and taken
notes on them, and I had begun keeping a hand-drawn notebook of range charts
and learnings. That is where I get all
the images I start my blog posts with.
It is not always going to be pretty, but I will do my best to show you
the evolution of my thinking as I went along.
All that being
said, we are joining me at a time where I really thought I was figuring things
out. I was pretty sure I was going to be
a crusher of 6-max NLHE within a month of starting to learn strategy. Obviously, that could not be much more
delusional but that is what makes this blog entertaining… me looking like a
dummy and doing everything wrong! Well,
if that is what you came for, you are in the perfect place.
I was very proud
of my notebook and I didn’t even let the thought cross my mind that maybe I had
been able to draw the ranges faster than I could memorize them…
IMPOSSIBLE!! Of course, I was doing
exactly that. I was making 3-4 charts
per day and spending zero time studying them.
I don’t suggest this method to anyone.
If I were doing
this process all over I would try to learn one position per day, or even every
other day. I think the big breakthrough
that I have had since entering this in my learning journal has been using
notecards and notecard apps for memorization.
I also started learning the why behind the ranges and that has helped it
all make sense to me to the point that I don’t have to memorize. Instead, I can just do what makes sense and
that is a powerful change that requires much less brain power. That way I can save my brain power during
preflop and use it on the river to rationalize making the wrong decision.
This time around
I had sworn to myself to be brutally honest about the mistakes I was making and
I did so for the first time in the next few entries. I noticed when I reviewed a losing session
that I had been calling with a bunch of weak draws and bottom pair type hands
in hopes of catching something lucky and winning.
I noticed that I
started doing those bad plays after losing a large pot to someone who had done
the same thing to me. I think they
called a huge turn bet with only a gut shot against my set and hit it,
boo-freaking-hoo. Upon losing that pot I
decided the only way to find justice for what had been done to me was to lose a
bunch more pots by playing poorly… I
know, sick strat!
I wasn’t proud of
the fact I had made this series of poor decisions, but I was happy I was able
to honestly call myself out for my mistakes.
I knew that was the only path to improving, brutal honesty. While I was on the path of honest learning, I
decided I needed to get specific and the biggest issue I saw was that I had
learned to bet my gut shots in position, but somehow, I had mangled that good
advice and turned it into NEVER FOLD A GUTSHOT.
If you know anything about poker, I am sure you can imagine how quickly
that can be a costly mix up.
I read a lot of
philosophy and I have always liked the tradition of Buddhism. One thing that is credited to Siddhartha
Gautama is that every form of suffering has its roots, and we need to trace the
suffering to its roots in order to stop ourselves from creating that kind of
suffering in our lives in the future.
The roots of my poker suffering on this day was the idea that poker was
supposed to be fair.
The true root
lying under that was the feeling of victimization. This was not the first, or the last, time I
would have to pull this root in one form or another in my quest to better
myself. The thought that I am only
losing (or whatever bad thing is happening,) because the universe is being
unfair is actually a trick I play on myself to think I am superior. Its my ego telling me I deserve to win and
that I matter so much that the whole universe is willing to concentrate on me
and do unfair things to me. None of this
is true, of course.
Thank you for
reading and I hope you decide to subscribe and read all the past posts. The most popular ones have been the ones
about my DRUNKEN SHITSHOW of a poker history.
Check them out here if you want to see the rise and fall of a man without a bit of self-control.
Comments
Post a Comment